Today, Tomorrow and the Flowers will bloom again.

waiting for an Odyssey.

Ask anyone that knows me and they will tell you how fervently I hate the ideology of the ‘new year’.

‘New Year, New me’. ‘This year I’m going to….’ ‘This year’ ‘In the new year’ ‘A fresh start’

If you really wanted something you wouldn’t have to wait until the so called ‘New Year’ to go after it.

Saying this, I’m not telling you that you are not allowed to set goals for yourself. I’m not saying that you can’t want and want and want, if anything I beg you to want, desire, lust, admire— i’m just telling you do not let everyone tell you that you HAVE to know your goals right now, going into the new year, that the new year MUST be your time of change.

The New Year might not even be your time to change— and maybe its not so much change you actually need — you don’t need to become this new person who is healthier, better, prettier, smarter, blah blah— maybe it is growth you need and your soul is a fruit tree and you must give the fruit time to grow.

I remember a new year wondering why as soon as January was over, why had I suddenly not morphed into this new person— why after February I felt no different and why by August I had withdrawn so far into myself that it would take me almost another year to raise my own voice enough for me to hear it. I remember the new years of the past ruining my whole day by thinking about my lack of change from the day before— wondering why everyone else seemed to be changing— and by everyone else it was people online— and I was motionless, my hand always reaching out but never able to grasp anything.

You do not need to change because it is the societal expectation of the ‘new year’—Your new year could come in March, August, July, October. You have time. Do not betray your own self to fit what others expect from you. You have time and do not spend your time satisfying society rather than your soul.

I’m not going to tell you how to live your life. Just like I’m not going to tell you any ‘goals’ I might have set for the new year. A flower does not tell everyone the hour it will bloom, but does it in silence and is still just as beautiful.

Today, tomorrow, the flowers will bloom again if you give them time. I think if you really wanted something you wouldn’t have to wait for the new year. You wouldn’t have to wait until everyone is posting and talking of change. If you wanted change you wouldn’t wait for society to tell you it is the right time. If you wanted change you would not wait until you feel obliged to please everyone around you, who ask ‘what’s your new years goal?’ ‘did you set any goals for the new year?’— Yes, I did, and I did it in June not January. Yes I did and it’s to stop letting my fear of not fitting in take away from my soul, but I changed in September not January because I wanted change— I wanted it and I let it rest in my palm warm and tender, cold and burning— I let it sit with me long before the New year because I wanted it.

Today, tomorrow and the flowers will bloom again. Do not let the concept of time paralyse you. There are always more figs growing on the tree and there are always more buds bursting from the soil.

If you really wanted something you wouldn’t have to wait until the so called ‘New Year’ to go after it. So how much do you want it?

Dearly,

Beatrice.

all images included from Pinterest.